Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with a narcissist and felt like you were speaking a different language? Well, in a way, you are. That’s because they have their own set of code words they use. But little did you know that they’re using them to manipulate, control, and deceive you.
In this topic, we’ll reveal the top code words used by narcissists and what they mean. Before that, let’s dive into the world of narcissism. Chances are we know someone who fits the definition of a narcissist. We’re talking about someone arrogant, entitled, and always thinking that they’re right. As you speak to them, you’ll notice that they seem to have a different way of speaking, like they’re speaking in code.
What most people don’t realize is that narcissists use specific code words to gaslight their victims and maintain their power. What most people don’t realize is that narcissists use specific code words to gaslight their victims and maintain their power. So, let’s break down these five of these sets of code words.
Number 1: “It’s for your good.”
This behavior is a sneaky way of trying to justify stuff or exercise control over you, all while pretending to be helpful. It’s a favorite move of people who are covert narcissists. This is why they often say things like, “I’m just concerned about you.” But what they’re doing by saying that is hiding their true motives.
In particular, these folks just want to make it look like they care, so they’re acting like they’re all about what’s best for you. But guess what? It’s just a trick to put you down. Whether they’re talking smack directly or just putting you down in a sneaky way, what they’re doing by saying those words is showing their true colors.
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They want to make you feel small, all under the cover of being caring and concerned. So, let’s say you’re rocking a dress and everyone’s telling you how amazing you look. But then, you ask a narcissist what they think. Don’t be surprised if they knock down your confidence by saying something like, “That dress? It’s not you. Are you sure you wanna wear that?” And it’s not just about what you wear.
Let’s say you’re excited about hanging out with your friends. A narcissist might try to put you off by saying, “Them? They’re not good company for you.” But chances are, it’s not true. Rather, they’re just trying to isolate you on purpose. Then there’s your career. If you’re all fired up about a certain career path, a narcissist might try to cool your enthusiasm and dissuade you. But it’s not because your dream job isn’t doable. It’s just that they like seeing you less passionate about your stuff.
Number 2: “That’s not what I meant.”
The narcissist didn’t mean for what they say to come across like that. Looks like you’ve just misinterpreted it and are taking it the wrong way. Right? Wrong. This phrase is pretty much a way to dodge taking responsibility, something narcissists are good at. They’re like slippery eels, you know? They throw this phrase out there to make it seem like you’ve got things all wrong, flipping the blame back onto you.
For example, if your narcissist partner puts down your job and then says, “I didn’t mean it like that,” they’re saying your feelings don’t matter. It’s a way to make you feel like you’re overreacting. And if a narcissistic coworker takes credit for your work and brushes it off with, “I didn’t mean it like that. I thought we were a team,” it’s another way of ignoring your feelings. They’re making you think you’re making a big deal out of nothing.
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Number 3: “No one else thinks that way.
It’s just you.” Saying “Nobody else thinks that” is super narcissistic. When someone goes, “Everyone else thinks this. Nobody else thinks that” they’re trying to make you feel small and alone. They want you to think they’re the only one who could care about you, making you depend on them in an unhealthy way. It’s also their way of brushing off your feelings and experiences to make it look like they don’t matter.
When the narcissist says you’re the only one who thinks a certain way, they’re trying to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid. When the narcissist says you’re the only one who thinks a certain way, they’re trying to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid. That’s called gaslighting. And it’s a sneaky move to make you doubt your sanity, your thoughts, and what you’ve experienced.
It’s a way to mess with your head and make you question what you know to be true. So, maybe you’re worried about being bullied at the workplace. Well, the narcissist may say, “You’re the only one who feels like that.” But guess what? You’re not alone in feeling that way. What the narcissist is doing is saying that to get to control you.
Number 4: “I’m just kidding.”
Narcissists have a knack for using humor as a shield to dodge taking responsibility. They’ll say or do something, and if it stirs up trouble, they’re like, “Hey, I was just joking!” Suddenly, if you’re upset, it’s because you can’t take a joke, not because they’ve said or done something wrong. It’s a slick way to sidestep blame and keep you from calling out their behavior for what it is.
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Think of it this way. When a narcissist cracks a joke about another person’s looks, like teasing them about dieting, especially when others are around, it can be super embarrassing and hurtful. It’s even worse when that person is suffering from an eating disorder, right? Making comments about touchy subjects like weight can seriously upset people. Brushing it off as just a joke makes it even worse.
This is because such jokes can cause long-lasting hurt and trauma. But narcissists don’t care about that. What they care about is looking good in front of others and getting a kick out of putting people down. And to them, that person just can’t take a joke.
Number 5: “You’re just being too sensitive.”
This phrase is a favorite of narcissists, and it’s super manipulative. Why? Well, here’s the thing. The saying “You’re just too sensitive.” is sneaky because they’re trying to make you doubt your feelings and reactions. They want to make it seem like you’re the problem, not what’s happening. Sometimes, they can even express it in a very subtle way; you wouldn’t notice what they did.
For example, they’d say the nastiest things ever and then just toss a “Ha!” at the end. To you, it might seem like they’re joking at first glance. But really, they’re testing the waters to see if you’re cool with what they just said. And they’re trying to figure out what they can get away with. Now, if you call them out? Well, that “Ha!” suddenly becomes something you just took the wrong way because you’re too sensitive. Again, it’s all about making it look like you’re the one with the issue, not them.
