Number 5: Do not believe all the nasty names they call you.
They may comment on your body, on how you look. They may call you fat. They may call you ugly. They may call you stupid, idiot. They may call you pathetic. They may call you needy. I mean, what I am using here is just the mildest version of what happens, and I can’t use all the names here, but you know what I’m talking about. What they are calling you is who they are.
Remember, a narcissist’s accusations are confessions. If you want to know the truth, take notice of what they are accusing you of being. And remember, that’s not who you are; that is what they feel towards themselves, and you are nothing but a distorted self-perception of theirs. What does that mean? That simply means that they do not hate the real you. When they met you, they created an idealized snapshot of yours, something they thought you were—this perfect, flawless doormat.
But then what you are did not match who they thought you were, and that is what led to devaluation. So, what they’re hating is their perception of who you are, their self through you, because they’re projecting their hatred on you. What does that make you? An extension of their false self. They do not see you. They do not love you. They do not know you. Think about this, sit with this, and you will understand that you have been with a stranger. You were born to a human being who has been nothing but a stranger to you.
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