When you’re codependent, it’s like you’re disconnected from the present moment. You find it hard to shape your future consciously because you’re stuck in the past, fixated on your trauma and the story that goes with it.
What’s more, codependency means living your life based on beliefs that were ingrained in you from childhood trauma. These beliefs center around the need to please your parents, always trying to make them happy, agreeing with them, and letting them interfere in your life. You start internalizing their sadness, letting it affect how you see yourself.
In a nutshell, codependency stops you from fully embracing the present, hampers your personal growth, and keeps you tangled up in the stories of your past.
When you’re codependent, your inner child takes the reins of your life. It might seem like the grown-up version of you is dealing with the narcissist. But truth be told, it’s often your inner child calling the shots.
In these situations involving narcissists, we can’t help but feel powerless. It can feel like we’re little kids again, falling prey to the narcissist’s manipulation. Walking on eggshells becomes our new normal.
Little do we know that we’re trapped in the past where we learned that staying silent, not asserting ourselves, and constantly pleasing others was the only way to navigate life. The fear of burdening others and the inability to stand up for ourselves prevent us from putting our well-being first.
This is because narcissists have this uncanny ability to control our thoughts, emotions, and focus. They know how to manipulate and exploit our insecurities, fears, and vulnerabilities to maintain their power over us.
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